Glimpses
by JulesNH4
Summary: A series of one-shots. A Sam and Andy related scene per episode, starting from season 1 episode 1. Glimpses into their characters, relationship, and lives.
1. Chapter 1: Fresh Paint

**Hey everyone! So this is only my second published fanfiction, and my first Rookie Blue one! I am an avid fan and watcher of the show, and love reading everyone else's amazing fanfiction. Thank you all, for keeping me so entertained!**

**To pass the time until the next episode (3 weeks! How will I survive!) I decided to do a series of one-shots. One from each episode, of Sam and Andy moments or thoughts, starting all the way from season 1 episode 1. This one is from Sam's point of view. I'm not sure yet if I will continue in his point of view, or switch to Andy's as well.**

**Please read, and let me know what you think! **

**Thanks,**

**Jules**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue or any of its incredible characters!**

**Chapter 1: Fresh Paint  
**

Sam Swarek slammed the door to his apartment, and immediately stalked over to his bedroom. He yanked the covers back, and got into bed.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit. _Shit_.

He was pissed. _Beyond_ pissed. 8 months. 8 _freaking_ months of his life, for this. To have his cover blown 2 weeks before finishing the job. 8 months, and only 2 weeks. All wasted.

He had never wanted anything more than to finish that job. Anton Hill was an utter scumbag drug dealer. An utter scumbag drug dealer that he had almost just gotten off the streets for good. But now, he didn't know if he ever would. Anton Hill got to walk free. And that was not even remotely fair.

8 months of living in a shit-hole apartment, dirty and lonely. He lived for undercover work- always had. The thrill of the job, the adrenaline rush he got every time he pulled off a deception, that was what he lived for. But 8 months was a long time. A long time to go without companionship. He was starting to miss his friends and family, his division. He wasn't used to going so long without talking to Sarah; this was one of the longest jobs he'd ever done. And Oliver, man did he miss Oliver and his sweet family. And Frank, Jerry, Noelle… He missed his entire division, and even the feel of the polyester uniform. The feel of the gun and baton, weighing down his belt. The Kevlar, snug around him.

8 months. For nothing.

He didn't remember ever being this pissed off.

But yet.

There was something about her. Don't get him wrong, he was _extremely_ pissed at her, but still, he couldn't deny it.

It was a tug at his stomach, a slight attraction. He tried to ignore it, push it away, lock it up in the box of his emotions. It wasn't working.

There was something about her, Andy McNally, that was unbelievably desirable to him.

He didn't understand it, this desire. She wasn't his type at all. He was a careless, somewhat heartless, self-proclaimed bachelor, and thought he would always be like that.

He was always into the 'no-strings' relationships. Purely for pleasure. That was his mantra.

Sometimes though, he would try a 'normal' relationship. For his sister, or to try and fill the void he felt. But those never lasted long. They just never felt right.

So why did it suddenly feel right, with this girl he hardly knew? A girl he had only shared a 5 minute conversation? A girl who had just unbelievable screwed up his life?

That's why he had given her the right information, and not the wild goose chase Ollie thought. Before he even knew what he was saying, the information was spilling out of his mouth.

He just couldn't stop it.

And then.

The way she walked up to him, apologized, offered to buy him a drink… Damn, it was hard to resist.

But he did. He resisted. He pushed those emotions away, locked them up. Lock and key.

He said no, rejected her.

Because that was how he was. How he always had been, and how he was supposed to be. A somewhat-wild, temperamental _bachelor_. Emphasis on the bachelor.

He embodied the word bachelor. Bachelor pad, bachelor lifestyle… That's what Sam Swarek was. And he wasn't going to change for anybody.

Especially not for some doe-eyed little rookie.

Or so he thought.

He kicked his covers away in frustration. They were tangled all around him, from a long night of tossing and turning.

He was getting no where, and these thoughts were not helping.

As much as he tried to hide it, he felt the attraction. But he didn't understand it. Didn't allow it. It just couldn't be.

Sam Swarek could not be falling for any girl, and especially not for the one who had just screwed him over.

So he tried, and tried again.

Pushed, shoved, trampled those emotions away.

Lock and key, Sam, lock and key.

**Thank you all for reading!**

**Please leave me a quick review, whether it be a greeting, nice note, or constructive criticisms! I'd love to hear it all.**

**Reviews will let me know if you'd like me to continue!**

**xox**


	2. Chapter 2: Mercury Retrograde

**Hey guys, I'm back with the second installment! I'm happy with how fast I got it completed. I'm going to try really hard to get one chapter out a day, but I'm pretty busy the next week, so please bear with me if I don't!**

**This one is for all those who left me a review saying you loved hearing Sam's POV. Another chapter from his. For those who wanted to hear Andy's POV, don't worry! I'll have one done from hers in no time!**

**Thank you so much for all those wonderful people who left a review or a story alerted/favourite story! You guys are amazing.**

**Well, here it goes.**

**Jules**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue or any of its characters- sadly.**

**Chapter 2: Mercury Retrograde**

He had been scared today. Actually scared. For the first time in a really long time.

You'd think that with his job, and especially when working undercover, that he'd be scared a lot. But that wasn't the case.

He had stopped being scared a long time ago. Now all he usually felt has the adrenaline, the rush of doing the job. Anxiety sometimes, yes, but not fear. Sam Swarek didn't feel fear.

But today he had, and that fact scared him more than any dangerous situation. His emotions, all his emotions, had been running wild lately. He wasn't used to it. Wasn't used to change.

He was always a stable guy. Stable job, stable friends, stable personality- for the most part. Other than his temper, he really was quite stable.

But not anymore.

But although he was 'stable', it didn't mean that he didn't have any emotions, as lots of people seemed to think. Sure, he might put up a wall, a hard shell to protect himself, but he still had a heart. A pretty big heart, actually.

That's why he had saved Emily. He had put everything on the line for her, without really thinking twice. As much as it might surprise people, she was more important to him than Anton Hill. Although he would have loved to get Hill too.

She had been one of his only companions for the last 8 months, and the only one he really genuinely liked. She was more than just part of the job for him. He had come to care about her.

8 months, and only one friend. You can see why he might care.

So yes, he had put everything on the line for her. But it was worth it.

Although his actions may have surprised a lot of people today, they hadn't surprised him. And they hadn't surprised his rookie.

His rookie. Now there was a predicament.

She was an enigma to him. He just couldn't figure her out. And that was another thing that scared him.

When the day had started with him and her being paired, a lot of emotions had been running through him.

Anger was foremost. She hadn't been forgiven. Not in his eyes. His anger was still burning. But running deep down was also that desire. That desire he hadn't yet managed to lock away. That desire he felt, every time he laid eyes on her.

But he felt his anger more, and wasn't about to give up a chance to punish her for it a bit. So he had sent her into that building with a fake warrant.

He didn't know what he wanted from it. If he wanted her to fail, or to surprise him and succeed.

He was just a mess of emotions, and he didn't like it.

But he could still see clearly. He saw that she was scared, straight. Played by the rules. And he knew he was going to colour outside the lines to save Emily. Stretch the boundaries.

So he left her at the station. Went to face Hill himself. Get Emily back. Protect her.

That was when he got scared. Alone with Hill, his bullies, and a gun. Alone.

But then she came. She just walked right in, holding Emily's USB. Holding the one thing that could save Emily, and him.

He had no idea haw she had gotten it, but he didn't care.

It was incredibly risky, what she had done. She had no one to back her up. She was also alone.

She had helped him. Saved him, really.

And that really didn't help his already confused emotions.

And then afterwards, at the Penny. The almost kiss.

They had been so close. Millimeters away. But she had stepped back. He understood why, really he did. It was only her second day, and it was against the rules. And she was a rules person.

But that didn't stop it from hurting a bit. He had finally allowed his desire for her to be felt, but then he had to disregard it. Push it away. Lock it back up.

So he brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. Reminded her he wasn't his type. But it was a lie.

He, Sam Swarek, was already falling for her, as much as he tried not to.

He was already a goner, and he didn't even know it.

**Thanks for reading the second chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**If you have any suggestions for certain scenes in different episodes you would like me to touch on or focus on, please send me a message! I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Please leave me a quick review before leaving **

**Thanks! xox**


	3. Chapter 3: Fite Nite

**Hey everyone! So before writing this, I re-watched the episode to find a good Sam/Andy moment to base this story on, and I realized that they really don't have very much interaction at all in this episode. **

**So, I decided to write this one from Andy's POV, for all the people who left me a review wanting to see her side of things as well. This chapter is based mainly on her decision between Sam and Luke, and how/why she chose Luke.**

**For all the wonderful people out there who have been leaving me really nice reviews about liking Sam's POV, sorry for this! I felt there wasn't very much to do with him from this episode, since he didn't play a very big part in it.**

**But don't worry Sam fans- I have lots more in store with him!**

**Thanks,**

**Jules**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue **

**Chapter 3: Fite Nite**

"_It's no wonder you always date the wrong guy"_.

Those words were still ringing in her ears.

It was true, she did always date the wrong guy. Growing up for her had been tough. Really tough. An absentee mother and drunken father didn't make for a very easy adolescence.

She spent all of her time at home wishing for her mother to return and taking care of her father. She had to constantly play the role of the care-taker. She never got a break.

So, outside of the home, it was only natural that she let loose a little. Rebelled.

There was evidence of that all throughout her life; the excessive makeup and offensive clothing. The long string of ex-boyfriends. All of them had been bad for her. _Wrong_.

But she finally turned her life around and smartened up. She got into the police academy, and made fantastic friends. Got a great job, and was really starting to enjoy her life for once.

But the one thing she felt she was missing was the right guy.

Don't get her wrong, she was in no rush for a relationship. She wasn't the type of girl who felt a need to constantly be with someone, never alone. But she still wanted to find that guy.

That guy that made her feel safe and comfortable (two things she hadn't experienced much in her teenage years). Who made her laugh and smile. Who invoked passion and excitement. Love.

And then, before she knew it, she had two great options. Sam and Luke.

She knew which one she was more attracted to. Sam, with his brown eyes and thick black hair, and an air of mystery. He was enthralling.

He had so many incredible characteristics.

He was brave and trustworthy. Loyal. Solid. And a great partner. She could tell all that already, and she hadn't known him for very long.

He was the perfect catch.

But he was also off-limits. Against the rules. Banned.

And he was mysterious, and somewhat dangerous. He had the ability to make her fall head over heels for him. Break her heart. And that terrified her.

After pretty much a lifetime of unhappiness and insecurity, and of broken hearts, the danger of Sam Swarek terrified her more than anything. She couldn't afford to have her heart broken again. She didn't know how she would bear it.

And that's where Luke came in. Luke was everything Sam wasn't. He was kind, funny, stable. Safe.

Safe was the most important thing.

She didn't feel the same danger of heartbreak with him. He just seemed like a stable guy that she could come to love.

There wasn't the same passion with him that she could already feel for Sam, but there also wasn't the danger.

Passion and danger or stability and safety.

When you boiled it all down, those were her two choices.

She knew which choice she had to make.

As much as she was attracted to Sam Swarek and all he had to offer, she was also one to play by the rules. Play it safe.

She didn't want to lose everything she had just gained.

So she chose safety, and Luke. Chose a life of white picket fences and the picture-perfect family. Chose a life of consistence and stability.

Chose a life with little heart-break.

She hoped she chose right.

(If only she knew.)

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading Chapter 3! This one was the shortest yet, but I found I really didn't have anything else to add (by this point, not too much had happened with Luke and Sam).**

**I was just wondering how the length of these chapters have been. Good? Too short? Too long? Please let me know what you think!**

**Reviews are gold. **

**Jules**


	4. Chapter 4: Signals Crossed

**Hey everyone! Here is chapter number four. Sorry I didn't post this yesterday… the site wasn't letting me sign in! Anyone else have any problems yesterday?**

**Anyways, this is for the Sam fans out there- this chapter's for you.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Jules**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue unfortunately!**

**Chapter 4: Signals Crossed**

"_I don't want anything to happen to you."_

Those were the last words he had spoken to McNally today, and they were laced with the truth. There was more truth behind those words than she could ever guess.

It was true. He didn't want anything to happen to her. He didn't know what he would do if something did happen.

In the short time that he had known her and become her training officer, he had come to care about her. A lot. More than he was supposed to, and more than he was willing to admit.

Today had been a terrible day.

In all honesty, he had woken up excited for this shift. Excited to see her doing the undercover prostitute sting.

But he was also worried about her. He knew she had a tendency to over think things, and put too much pressure on herself.

He didn't know if she was ready for this, and that scared him.

So he had approached her before setting out, to make sure she was ready. She had answered him with as much confidence as she could muster. She didn't convince him in the slightest, but he couldn't turn his back on her now. The only thing left for him to do was back her up. As good partners always do.

Sitting in the cover apartment, watching her on the street, he was worried. Really worried. He could see how uncomfortable she was down there. Totally out of her element.

And then when that creep approached her, he saw how flustered she got. She didn't know what to do.

It physically pained him to see her so uncomfortable.

And when they called her in, he could tell how upset she was. Upset at herself, for not being perfect.

She was way too hard on herself.

But he could also see how scared she was. That guy had really gotten to her. More than she would admit.

And then he had to send her back to the station. Boyko's orders, after all.

He had mixed feelings about doing that. He was sad to send her away, because he could see how upset and frustrated she was. But he was also happy. Happy she was going back to the station. Back to safety. Out of harms way.

If only he knew what she would get up to without him.

When he had gotten back to the station, he had gone to check on her. See if she was alright. But he couldn't find her anywhere.

Then, when he got the call about her and Epstein… Well, he didn't know how he felt.

He was angry. Really angry. At her. But not for the reasons she thought.

He did care about civilian lives, and what she had done with Sadie was unbelievable careless. Careless and stupid.

But the real reason he was angry went a whole lot deeper.

He could have lost her tonight.

She could have been killed. She almost was, until Epstein got there just in time.

She had put her own life in danger tonight, to try and make up for her performance earlier. He should have known.

She wasn't very hard to read. He knew how hard she was on herself, and how she always needed to fix her mistakes.

She had put herself in danger, and almost gotten killed. And he hadn't been there to protect her.

So he got angry at her. But he wasn't, really. That was just his coping mechanism.

He wasn't very good at showing emotions. Never had been. He didn't know how to deal with them.

He always locked them away.

But after he had gotten mad at her, he had seen how upset she was. How truly sorry. She regretted what she had done with Sadie, even though it had led to a big bust. She was a good cop, through and through.

The look in her eyes, after he had yelled at her, was still plaguing him. So he had gone to find her once they were back at the station. To apologize.

That's when the words slipped out.

"_I don't want anything to happen to you."_

On the surface, they seemed innocent. Something a training officer would say to his rookie.

But they weren't that innocent.

And their relationship wasn't just training officer and rookie either.

There was something more going on between them, but they were both too scared to admit it. He knew he sure was.

He hadn't felt this way about someone in as long as he could remember.

And that scared the shit out of him.

**Another chapter done! **

**Thank you all so much for reading this. Please leave me a quick review before you go!**

**Once again, if you have any suggestions for later chapters, please send me a message!**

**Jules **


	5. Chapter 5: Broad Daylight

**Hey guys! Here is the fifth installment to the story.**

**However, before I begin, I just want to give an enormous thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, story alerted, author alerted, favorite story'd, and favorite author'd this story! You guys are great, and keep me writing.**

**I would also like to give a special shout out to bookworm1818 – you're review on chapter 4 was so amazingly kind, and really made my day.**

**This chapter is back in Andy's POV.**

**And without further ado, here's the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or its characters.**

**Chapter 5: Broad Daylight**

"_You back your partner up. No matter what."_

Andy McNally was still laced with guilt.

She was a loyal person, in general. Never threw anyone under the bus, and thought she never would. She never betrayed anyone, but especially not her friends. Never her friends.

But today, she had turned her back on one of her best friends.

She hated herself for what she had done to Traci today.

Even if she had gone to Boyko afterwards to fix it, it didn't change the fact that she had already betrayed Traci.

Traci was one of her best friends, and one of the only people she really trusted. She didn't understand how she could have done that to her.

Except, when she really thought about it, she did understand.

It had been the fear talking. She had been absolutely terrified today.

After already almost dying the week before when she was acting as a prostitute, the last thing she really needed was to be alone with another gun situation. But that's exactly what had happened.

It was her fault, really. Not Traci's. She was the one who had forgotten to load her clip, and the one who had told Traci it was okay to leave.

Because after all, family is the most important thing.

But being alone today and being faced with that situation had terrified her. The fear had completely overtaken her.

It had brought back too many memories of her own childhood.

And Noah had thought she didn't understand.

But growing up without a mother and with a drunken father made you understand a lot of things.

You understood that the world wasn't fair. Not even close to it. You understood that you couldn't trust many people. Most just end up disappointing you. And you understood that loving someone meant you were vulnerable, and that you would just end up hurt.

Those were the realities for Andy McNally.

The reality was that she was constantly terrified. Every day she put on an act.

_Fake it 'til you make it_, her and Traci always joked. But for her, it was the truth.

She faked confidence every day on the job. Pretended she had it all figured out. When really, half the time she just relied on instinct and luck, and the other half on Sam.

She faked her family life. Really, it was just a mess. Just her, cleaning up all the problems her father created. Constantly taking care of him.

But most of all, she faked her relationships.

She forced herself to fit into these relationships where she wasn't really happy.

Sure, maybe in the beginning she was. Thought she had finally found the right guy.

But quickly, she realized once again how wrong the relationship was. She was never completely happy with it. There always felt like there was something missing.

It was the same way with Luke now.

It had started off great; all smooth moves, and romance, and picture perfect memories. But now it just felt tired and boring again.

Not that she would ever admit it. After dealing with so many screwed up situations and relationships in the past, she just wanted a stable one.

And that was exactly the kind of relationship Luke offered.

So she forced herself to keep smiling and laughing. Keep pretending. Because a future with him wouldn't be too bad.

She pulled off the deception perfectly. She got everyone to believe in it. To believe she was happy.

She even kidded herself into thinking she was happy.

But still, she couldn't help but dream sometimes.

She dreamt of a relationship filled with passion and romance. Of stubbornness and excitement. Of some wild adventures, and just comfortable nights with a beer in front of the TV. Of having a constant companion, someone she could always lean on. Of letting go of all limitations, and just loving someone wholly. Of taking risks, and letting herself be vulnerable. Of being completely in love.

She dreamt of that more than anything, and dreamt of finding the person who would make that her reality.

But sometimes, she wondered if she already had.

Sam was always there for her. Especially when it mattered. He was so nice and funny and loyal.

He made her feel a whirl of emotions, most she couldn't even name. He made her feel more than she ever had in her life.

But he also made her scared. Scared of many things, like heartbreak. But most of all, scared of depending on someone so fully.

She wasn't sure she was ready to take that risk yet.

So she stayed in her boring but stable relationship. Kept smiling and laughing and deceiving.

Kept pretending.

**Wow, another chapter done! Time flies.**

**Unfortunately, there wasn't very much McSwarek interaction again this episode (I can't wait to get to season's 2 and 3 with the constant McSwarek angst!). However, even though I started on a different topic, I tried really hard to bring it back to their relationship, and how she felt about Sam… I hope I did an okay job!**

**Please leave me a quick review on your way out!**

**Jules **


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